Ramdom musings of someone with a faulty shut-up filter

So it's been a while since I last posted.

In that time I dated a wonderful guy who ended up cheating on me. Sad, but I know I wasn't in the wrong.

So I'm single again out of emotional necessity.

I've seen or talked to all of my exes in the past week. Kinda disconcerting.

I also said "fucking" in front of most of my family. Just a lot awkward. *rolls eyes*

Wedding receptions have begun to aggravate me since I don't have that right in this state. This is exacerbated at wedding receptions of born-again Christians, most of whom fall to the extreme right.

I am grateful for good friends who bring over ice cream when they hear about stupid boys' actions.

I am seriously in need of a tabletop RPG fix.

I am done ranting now (I think).

-Von

The second (and last) of a series. I actually think I like this one more than its predecessor.

A shout-out and thank you to</em></a></b></em></a>mrzachyboy who has read pretty much everything I've written in the past month (and then some).

Still trying to find a title. Nothing speaks to me. Suggestions?

Here goes:



For some reason I want you
and reason tells me to walk away, say no
because I know you’d never want me too

to you I could never be untrue
and although into my life you come and out you go
For some reason I want you

the rhythm of the lines is somewhat askew
my fixed, rigid form asks for more
because I know you’d never want me too

You’re in the room, I’m feeling blue
that I feel this fixation start to grow
for some reason I want you

I’ve loved so few
why don’t you know?
because I know you’d never want me too

we could be so happy, just us two
for our friendship I’m afraid to show
for some reason I want you
because I know you’d never want me too.

indiansummer

I feel the grass between my toes;
it’s soft, alive – a carpet green
and out flee all my cares and woes...

My sandals off, my foot goes
becoming part of the verdant scene
I feel the grass between my toes...

The wild latesummer wind blows
a vibrant portent of autumn’s lean
and out flee all my cares and woes...

The mower’s path the green lawn shows
along the walks, around the tree
I feel the grass between my toes...

the lawn reaches up; my soul it knows
it is damp, real, musty, mean,
and out flee all my cares and woes...

I lay down in the grass’ throes
and ponder the celestial stream –
I feel the grass between my toes
and out flee all my cares and woes....

So, for those of you who DON'T know, I've been in Philipsburg, MT, for most of the summer (Shameless Plug: if you haven't been there already, www.operahousetheatre.com).

Last Monday, our cast went to Helena, MT, for a benefit performance at the Grandstreet Theatre there to benefit a young woman who got a bacterial infection in her blood that compromised one of her heart valves and required open heart surgery. Lots of expensive medical bills for a young actress trying to make it in New York. So we came together with a half-dozen other groups "to raise fun and funds". Great show, entertaining and touching and everything you could hope for. The afterparty was fun. Met some interesting people, made some new friends, went searching (unsuccessfully) for food at 2am ... went to a church that someone had a key to and played an organ ...

The next morning, Tambre and I (to find out who she is, visit www.operahousetheatre.com!) went to a great little café called the No Sweat Café in downtown. From the outside it looks like a rather small "greasy-spoon" type of establishment. Now take all the grease out, replaced almost 100% with organic food. The place was packed at 11am on a Tuesday morning. My omelet was delicious, and it was by far the BEST apple juice I have EVER tasted. This may seem like odd and obscure hyperbole ... but if you like this type of food, I suggest a pass through Helena at the first available opportunity.

That night, we ended up in Missoula and saw The Dark Knight. I was very impressed and sad I did not see it sooner. The joys of living in a small town a hour from a major city (Butte or Missoula in our case).

Wednesday, we took a several-block road trip to see the Shakespeare in the Parks Production of All's Well that Ends Well. Very enjoyable, with a great cast - some of whom I had the good fortune to meet Monday night in Helena following the benefit and their production of Macbeth. Gave them a tour of our Opera House today as well - a great group that does great work.

(Is typing the name of aforementioned play bad luck if done so inside a theatre? I think not. Feel free to disagree with me.)

This week has been ... well, nondescript. I bought 3 books at the H&R (a secondhand store here in P-burg), including Heinlein's Stranger in an Strange Land. Tambre and I once again made an excursion to Missoula seeking interesting things. We found good books, great food, and a new pair of sandals for Von. I now know that my formerly "lost" pair were taken by my family back to Pocatello. Why and how I still cannot figure out.

Again, it will be Wednesday night Shakespeare, only this time in Anaconda. I'm looking forward to it.

In any case, this has been an interesting couple of weeks in an interesting summer. If you can make it up before the fall calls you to wherever you may be, please come visit - I'd love to see you. Our season here closes August 31st.

This is a *slightly* retrospective poem i wrote a few weeks ago ... let me know what you think.

***

Twitter

The slight buzz
pervades my senses
a strange awake
a longing ... saudades?

And I jump
at the sound of your voice
makes my day

welcome distraction
a sense of completion
a love of everything you are

not what I expected
exactly what I need

your dove-white hands
your cobalt eyes
the way you kiss my nose
ever-so-softly

hang on
enjoy the ride
your arms wrapped around me

Please tell me that everyone is that neurotic with their first car.

I got a deal on it. It's a NICE car, runs well, has the bells and whistles that I want, and is safe....

Now to find car insurance.

Oh, for those autophiles out there, it is a blue-green 1994 Volvo 850. So nice. I just want to drive and drive and drive and now i can.

And I'm nervous about people eating in the car because of the leather. So silly of me, but I really want this car to last me.

I was proud of myself, though. In 4 hours, I:
    Got the loan;
    Signed the papers;
    returned to the bank to finalize the loan;
    went to the DMV and licensed the car;
    put the plates on the car.

Every time I get in, I just ... feel ... happy. Vroom-happy (I do obey ALL posted speed limits).

Is this what it's always like?

So I saw possibly the BEST movie ever last night again. It's called ONCE and won the Audience favorite aware at the 2007 Sundance Film Festival. If you haven't seen it, you should.

C'est ça.

Savage Garden. No contest. Am still a fan.

so last night i called my friend and we decided to hang out. Come to find out I had NO IDEA it was said friend's birthday. My day hadn't been to wonderful . . . so I was basically going to hang out and vent. Mind you, I realized that I was being extraordinarily selfish . . . . not a very pleasant awakening. We talked, worked through some of my issues and some of my friend's . . . and overall I'm feeling, i dunno, a sense of accomplishment.

Strange.

And I'm trying to find a roommate so i can move out . . . and having NO luck. Either the roommate or the apartment doesn't seem to be right.

Anyhow, other than that life is . . . peachy.

Unless you find the overuse of ellipsis annoying.

Falou.